mOnStEr Repellant!

I recall the very first time I read “The Artist’s Way” and got to the section on the enemy within. It had a huge impact on me. It was the first “self-help” book I had read, (and believe me, I have read a zillion of them) that had some relationship to my life.

The author, Julia Cameron records a list of core negative beliefs held by creatives and the bell in my head goes off like I am a game show winner, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Her list read like a grocery list.
Everyone will hate me-CHECK…
I can’t spell-CHECK…
I don’t have good enough ideas-BIG CHECK
and the list went on. It all hit home.

However…nothing hit home more than question # 3 in the back of chapter. Identify the monsters (people) that are responsible for your core negative beliefs. It was the first time I was given permission to acknowledge that there were people I loved and people I trusted that had done hurtful things that negatively influenced my creative adult life.

As I name them one by one, my monsters climb out from under the bed, they crack the closet door and tip-toe out. There they all stand in row, small and powerless. I am not saying that the years of self-destruction created by the fear they produced would immediately go away, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I had found a big spray can of monster repellant and I am not afraid to use it!